We are the result of all our experiences and how we have processed these and, more importantly, how we continue to process these.
Recently I did a psychometric test and was told that 20-40 minutes would be required. Having done many similar tests in the past I started with full gusto and sailed through the first section which was a fairly typical personality profiling batch of questions.
The next section was a timed section on language comprehension. I ‘saw’ myself react to the concept of being timed - I am a teeny, tiny, tad touch competitive and have a slight tendency to rush unthinkingly when feeling under pressure. The quote “more haste, less speed” could have been written for me.” I then reassured myself I was good at English, took a breath and went through methodically. That section went well.
Next section. Timed again. This section - maths. “I’m hopeless at maths. No use even trying here,” was my first thought as I looked at the question and just circled any old answer with little to no thought. I then remembered I was paying a decent amount for this test and the results would be shared with my team. The thought was enough to make me slow down, read the question and actually think.
Those little voices in our heads massively impact our confidence. They can inhibit you or enable you.
Oh, the best bit - it’s your head, your mind, your voices - you get to choose which ones you listen to and which ones define you.
“I’ll NEVER do that again!” Have you ever made a promise to yourself like that? At the time, in that moment, with those circumstances, that might have been a ‘reasonable statement’. Normally it is made to keep your future self safe. When training people to speak in public most have to overcome huge fears.
Fears come from stories we tell ourselves. There are many acronyms for FEAR.
Finding Excuses and Reasons
False Emotions Appearing Real
Future Events Appearing Real
Failure Expected And Received
The common factors in all of these is that fear is emotionally driven and sees the future in bad light based on historic knowledge and experiences. You can redefine your experiences and even redefine fear.
FEAR = For Everything A Reason.
What can you learn from this experience? Where do you need to grow and stretch outside your comfort zone? People often look back to who they have been and project that forward to define who they are.
When we learn to look at all experiences as opportunities to grow
into who we want to be we can approach everything with so much more confidence.
You realise you can never fail again - you will either win or learn, and that is a recipe for a life far more deeply enjoyed, far more rewarding and satisfying - because, as I discovered in my psych test - we are all far more capable than we often allow ourselves to believe!
Here's to your success!